Threads of time...

Ever since life came into being it started forming linkages with both sentiant and non-sentiant things around. The positive linakges led to growth in terms of value, fulfillment , nourishment , deeper and greater understanding as well as lasting bondings. The negative ones had opposite impact eroding value,loss of labour and inducing pain. Only if nature and humanity could find ways to form more and more positive threads of transactions, immense wealth of positive energy , fulfillment and self-actualization could be created on this blue-green crystal ball called Earth.

Going by simple mathematical logic there could only be three positibilities :

> A constructive all plus approach with clear awareness of inter--dependence of each element on another.Thus respect and regard for there existence and contribution.Naturally it would not be possible without obvious ingrediants of tolerance,open interaction,an all inclusive approach based on what is called compassion and respect for dignity (or inherent intrinsic core value) of each entity. The fruits of such labour could be enjoyed as increased monetary as well as emotional and spiritual wealth.

> The second one would be like a tug of war, a positive and negative combo.The elements involved in ego war path,counting on winning the maximum strikes.While one wins , other looses thus in summation adding to nothing. Mostly resulting in strife,emotional unrest,loss of time and value.Contentment and self-actualization would only be a far cry majorly infested by loss of bonhomie and increased skepticism.

> Last but not the least a fatalistic dual of negatives.leading to catastrophe leaving behind nothing but ever ballooning negativity. The last one is easiest one to succumb to, followed by second one and then the noble first.The call lies with the most endowed ones.

The success or failure lies in the path chosen and means followed. The effects like material wealth, status or stature alone would not decide the final outcome as they would be in conjection with signs adopted.

Labels: Accounts of life..

I wouldn't stand tall
Loosing to my ego wall
I would rather bow down
Kneel and rise holding arms
That held me thru the falls
I'wd Raise not those eyebrows
Tomorrow staring in emptiness
When the last curtain falls
I would rather not have proud heart
But pride of a genuine heart
I would rather silence my noise
Always to hear the inner voice
Nothing more precious in my fold
Then a friend with heart of gold
Life is but like a clutched fist
Open it and sand of time falls
Hold on oh my cherished soul
Pearls of tear are not worth it at all
There are chapters of your memory
In diary of my life, like colorful rainbow
Without you it wouldn't be worth reading at all
There would be enough time to stiffen-up
In cold lonely recesses of my grave
Let me walk along for now where your shadow falls
Gazing at you with admiration & heart enthralled
The biggest ego is too small
When the final call calls !
I wouldn't stand tall
Loosing to my ego wall !

Labels: Matter of heart..

Erect no walls in my heart
Open vistas of free exchange
Bridges that cross over to other hearts

Let my heart breathe in sweet fragrance
Thriving,evolving like leaves of grass.
Nurture it with beliefs,view and fruits of deliberance

Endow it with depths of ocean
Expand it like blue sky thats vast
Entrust it with mother earth's fertility till it lasts

Impart it resilience of the winds
Light it with hellows of sun and moon
Make it shine like most brilliant heavenly stars

Protect it as your own part
Surrogate it oh mother of all hearts
Oh Almighty finally embrace it in thy fold when it beats last !

Labels: Prayer to Almighty..

Love is to like someone more then yourself
Love is to be yourself as crafted by almighty god
Love is to stop possessing and let go of someone
Love is to allow someone to soar into open skies
Love is now and forever and not some point in time
Love is to be gentle and tender like a chubby cheek
Love is to be like sweet smell when rose is stomped
Love is to be empowered for removing someone's fears
Love is to protect someone both physically and emotionally
Love is to care & watch for someone's happiness at each step
Love is to not to seek acceptance but to accept the unaccepted
Love is to feel and mean what you say and not what you say to mean
Love is to carry someone in your heart before carrying on one's shoulders
Love is to be like never drying ocean and countless prayers undisclosed
Love is to be unmoved mountain of Gold shinning ever more with each scratch it holds !

Labels: Love - God's heavenly abode

Hurt not
A tormented soul
Silent sighs
Misfortune unfolds

Man in mirror
Reflects the soul
Eyes of introspection
Resurrection untold

Arrogance & pride
Denegrades life
Humble humility
Life glorified !

Labels: Arise oh old soul ..

They stand alone
One sun and one moon
Illuminating earth & beyond

A fearless lion
An elephant alone
Shudders the jungle
Silence beckons

Above clouds
Eagle soars
Rains below
Drentches gallows

Strike a spark
Darkness vanishes
Century's slumber
Instantly exposed !

Labels: One alone...

An apostle proclaimed that Life would be just what I make it
Life could be fashioned and worn like a gown;
I am, the designer, mine will be the decision
Whether to wear it with bonnet or a crown।

So I went about selecting the prettiest patterns
Thinking, life should be made of the rosiest hue
Something unique, and a bit of it out of the blue
One that perhaps would be chosen by few.

But other folks came and they leaned over my shoulder;
Someone questioned the ultimate cost;
Somebody tangled the thread I was using;
One day I found that my scissors were lost.

And somebody claimed the material had faded
Somebody said I'd be tired by the time it was worn
Somebody's fingers, too pointed and spiteful,
Snatched at the cloth, and I saw it was torn.

Oh! Somebody tried to do all the sewing,
Wanting always to advise or condone.
Here is my life, the product of many
Where is that gown I could fashion - alone?

Want true love,
Look no further
Begin from within
Your own heart and soul
The temple of true, pure and genuine love,
The treasurehouse, exactly the way God made it.
Learn to love and be at ease with yourself
And not the way people want you to be.
If people do not accept and love the way you are,
Then those people are not for you anyway !
Only the true feeling of love makes life really longer and happier
Those whom true love has held, it will go on holding.

बात तब की है
जब हुस्न परदे मे रहता था
और इश्क उसे देखने की
खुदा से आरजू किया करता था
कहता था - अए खुदा हवा का एक झोंका आये
और हुस्न बेनकाब हो जाये ..
अचानक एक दिन इश्क चल बसा
और हुस्न उसकी कब्र पर फूल चढाने गया
तभी हवा का एक झोंका आया और हुस्न बेनकाब हो गया
तो कब्र से आवाज़ आई या खुदा ये कैसी तेरी खुदाई
आज जब में परदे मे हूँ तो हुस्न बेनकाब आया !

न हम आयें
न आप बुलायें
फासले जो आप बनायें
कदम कदम पर हम उनको निभाएं

इज्ज़त है जो हमारे दिल में
उसको आपकी निघाहें जूठ्लाये
आप हेर दम कहतें तो हैं हमे अपना
अब आपके अंदाज़ बेरुखी दिखायें तो हम कहाँ जाएँ.

खुद्दार हम भी हैं
दौरता है इन् रगों में खून अभी
पर क्युओं कर अपने ही जिगर को ज़ख्मी बनायें
आपकी देखा देखी क्युओं कर हम अपने पर लानत लायें

एक मुट्ठी राख है जिंदगी
आज चल बसे और राख़ धुल में मिली
चलेंगी ज्युओं ही हवाये न हाथ आयेंगी हमारी जूस-तजू
न रुकेगा वक़्त,न रहेंगी वह फिजायें,तलाशेंगी हमको आपकी सुनी निगाहें !

What could he do if almighty handed him down melodrama and melancholy only for life !
So many times he would come back home , all drained out , forelorned, dejected, in helpless solitude..knowing the anchor he is so much wanting and looking for would elude him yet again as it has been for so many years.

Many a times a person dig his own grave and gradually settles into it, paying the price for decisions he made in all good jest and zeal , mislead by charm of paraphenelia and sweet demeanour of those who were to walk each step with him. As if the daily ordeal is not yet over ,yet another rebuff, another pandora's box of wants n complaints awaits him, to pull his already sagging spirits further down.

All his forty plus years have seen him struggling majorly, mostly and miserably alone. He had not stopped toiling, he hasn't yet , though some word of encouragement and understanding would have provided some gleaming ray of much needed hope but thats what he was not fated to have. Sincerity, hard work , dedication , regard, respect , empathy , bonhomie , good naturedness , astute altruism...virtues he would so dearly cling to, hardly gave him enough to have a peaceful night sleeps, let alone a cherished place amongst those he humbly walked. He was easily discardable - reviled , dumped and scoffed at, more often then a ugly stray dog on street.

Its only weird that all these years while he went all out for those around him with all his heart, sweat, blood, resources and time, he had to suffer the fated isolation and loneliness very few could imagine or experience in their life.He had been time n again thru fleetingness of sweet promises, vows and assurances, which by now had begun to sound almost like hollow cacophony. Somehow he had been by now so shaken and distraught with frequent drifts of fate that mere hint of anything good happening would instantly induce a fear of loosing it much before night turned into daybreak.

Perhaps, he was too naive in worldly ways or was not fit for this part of the universe. Selfishness, discourteousness,calculated shrewd planned moves and open show of indifferent disregard would always take him with surprise and pained him for long time to come. A man he was told is not suppose to cry yet he could not hold his eyes getting moistened over cruel jokes destiny would play on him all too often. Peculiarly though he never gathered enough steam to strike back with vengeance. That part he had left to god almighty and his sweet time to decide and expedite.For him it was more important to move on with his load seeking new dawn of hope,awaiting that final victory lap and that last sigh of relief !

Labels: Lone warrior

कोई सुन्हेरे खवाब दिखलाये क्युओं
हर पल ख्यालों में आकर सताए क्युओं
नज़रें भी जो मिल पाना न हो मुमकिन
तों दिल में गेहेरे जा बैठ जाये क्युओं
जब हों उसके चारों और बन्दीस्हें
तों हमे अपने मोह में बंधाये क्युओं
नहीं आती जो उनके दर से उनकी खबर
तों हमे चिंताएँ सतायें क्युओं
तरसते राहे हम उनकी आवाज़ सुनने को
पर वह रुखसार हो हमे बुलाएं क्युओं
हम भेजें उन्हें रोज़ सदाक़त के ख़त
पर उनके दर से कोई जवाब आये क्युओं
हम तों बने ही थे नादान पतंगा
उन्होने रौशनी के चिराग जलाये क्युओं
लिखी थी जो इतनी बेरुखी तकदीर में
तों या रब उनके दीदार करवाए क्युओं !

Expectations lay the path for results. Is it humanly possible to not to have expectation and yet toil for something worthwhile on sustainable basis, I guess not. I would be termed as a biggest lier and hypocrite if I proclaim myself as expectationless soul. In other words whatever action I happen to produce would never fail to produce some kind of results or outcome. Whether or not it reaches a desire mark is another story but effect will always be there. Nothing escapes causality or cycle of cause and effect. This unbendable, undeniable and indesputable law prevails and transcends all known realms of human conception i।e. tangible material or intangible spiritual.

To paraphrase existence is construed to expectation and the later gives meaning to the existence. What denomination or value a particular person,event or action carries is defined by the kind of expections chalked out for it by the one expecting ,conciously or with subconcious grantedness. It can never reach a perfect value of zero unless the one expecting has crossed
over the cycle of birth to extinction. Even the strategy of focusing on causes one makes without worrying about the results ( ofcourse positive actions only ) has one basic underlining expectation of not to get unduly effected by the extent and timing of result atleast. Superimposed, perhaps visibly or otherwise, by the belief of goodness leading to good and bad getting eventually consigned to its dark dungeons.

Labels: Life and Expectation

Labels: एक अनुभूति

दूरियां होने से दो शक्सियतों का वजूद कायम रहता है, फासले खतम कर के वजूद खतम करने कि बात करें या दुरिया बड़ा कर वजूद कायम रखें ?
दिल कहता है कुछ तो समागम हो दोनो का ...कोई तो बन्धन हो,कही तो कोई मिलन हो,जिंदगी कि परतों के बीच ज्यूँ दो नदियों का संगम हो ! जब निर्जीव कर्ण फासले तये कर सुदूर कारणों में समां सकता है तो सजीव प्राणी क्युओं नहीं ? शायद क्युओंकी प्राणी का लक्ष्य एक होने पर भी, विचार धाराएं हजार होती हैं,उन्ही के माया जाल में वेह उलझता , उतराता रहता है...जब नदी अपने गंतव्य स्थान का फासला तेये कर रही होती है..वेह उसके किनारे बैठ..उसके दुसरे किनारे..और स्रोत्र , गहराई और विस्तार में उलझा होता है !
समय एक बहती नदी है..जिसका काम सिर्फ चलना है..रवानगी लाना है..जो उसके साथ हो लिया वेह तर गया..
बहेंगे सभी..जो हलके हो कर बहे वेह जल के उप्पर और जो अपना वजूद ले कर भरी हो गया वेह नदी के तल पर
आगे सभी ने बदना है...

इंसानी फितरत कुछ अजीब ही है..कुछ लोग विचारों तक पर पहरा लगा लेते है ,ज्ञान नहीं बांटते,और कोई कोई ने अपने दिल का झरोखा खोल कर रख देता है !

Labels: रवानगी

Like two faces of the same coin
joined, bonded,sharing the same plane and form
yet never seen each other face to face

Like two eyes on the same face
both cry ,smile, and go to slumber together
yet they never meet in embrace !

Like the Sun and the Moon
one heralding the dawn of other yet miles afar
awaiting for years to come together !

Like the body and its shadow
always existing in cohesiveness and harmony
yet so different and far apart !

Like heart and soul
residing assuringly inside the body
yet away from all control !

Like wick and the flame
burning together to extinction
till nothing remains !

Strange togethernesses
sunken deep in psyche
yet eluding like smoke !

Labels: There yet not there...

Each day she cometh
Like sweet fragrance
A familiar benign remembrance
With sweetness of millions of flowers
With affinity that defies imagination
Like a star of same constellation
Like a flame of incensed soul
There are memories untold
Sweet thoughts and feelings
Like sky getting unfolded
Yet like bellowing wind
She transcends my being
As if an enigma
Beyond my hold
A precious jewel
Whose destiny is foretold
Away away far away
From this mould
Madness it may sound
But who needs sanity
That divides and tear apart
Two hearts crafted with gold !

Labels: Un-catchable wind...

While I was small, I could never figure out what rituals my father would perform by being awake late at night or spending sleepless nights. I still faintly remember his back visible in faint light of night sitting on the edge of the cot. Once in a while i would see my mother giving him a glass of water. But mostly it was austerity.For me it was just a re-affirmation of he being there ,so i need not worry of dark silent lonely nights. With the dawn it was yet another playful day. I never asked and he would never tell. I just grew-up watching his back.

Years came and went.Decades slipped by. He is also gone to his resting abode and I am sitting here clock ticking well past mid-night performing the same ritual, however,with realization of what he crafted with that bent back at those long hours in the night as I contemplate on my family, my off-springs and their tomorrow.This must have been a time of great activity for him planning,wrecking his brain,fights within & with ouside world and prayers for us all ! The peaceful solemn back and that silver white head resting on it was perhaps even more active in dark hours then it was during the day ! It must have been really difficult being a father even for a day but he would never say, he never said , till he finally rested in bed.

Labels: The night befalls on each one ..

Someone said " Consider how difficult it is to change urself and then you will understand the little chance you have in trying changing others".

Ever thought how difficult it is to change ouselves as grown up adults ! Despite of years of learnings, manifold experiences and wisdom developed over period of time we so dearly and ardently cling to our old self. The pain of change-over even if absolutely compelling is so unbearable. This is inspite of the freedom to decide and choose as a responsible grown-up. There is such irresistable urge and temptation to hold on to our views however deflatable they may be.Yet we would love to win as we are atleast for once ,for that one time as older self to prove ourself. Afterall its question of self-respect ( actually smaller ego drapped in garb of respect !). Adopting flexibility is a tussel and challenge only selectively undertaken with a big question mark on period and periodicity.

Now turn to this tiny lil creature who is barely 1/3 or 1/4 of an adult in all aspects of age,experience,learning,objectivity etc. This young sapling of life has already been partly conditioned directly or indirectly by us adult as role model ( by now we are demanding one !). When this lil life gives expression to its individuality one find oneself less then fully empowered and in control to seek out that desired change. Moreover paucity of time and urgency of change adds more flavour to the ensuing struggle between the little giant and the real giants.

Many or most of the times the commandments are set in clear terms but what they will do or not do, the significance and broader impact as immediate and future outcome remains undefined and left to presumption by tiny todler who naturally sees it as a disciplining exercise by some dictator who is least bothered about his happiness and natural curiousity to know and absorb more ! The small ego of the child at times takes it as sign of disrespect and shows its discontentment by doing just the opposite.The wayout is to move into child's shoes and envisage how we would like to be approached on the same subject to get a positive outcome. To this add extra explaining required by the child to fill the gap of intuitive experience which an adult has to grasp matter faster.

The adage " Child is the father of man " has deeper meaning and import. A father commands respect and also is instrumental in rediscovering yourself by teaching some very important lessons of life ! Once you have tuned in to this wavelength the path ahead is laid with surprising gifts of revelations at each step !

Labels: Being a parent..

Heard of ghosts ! never seen them but todays wide wild web world is re-incarnation of world of spiritless spirits. An ethereal world casted in ether of non-existence where everything is ephimeral ! Hardly anything real then surreal. Its 24x7 world created around sands of time, coded in binary of to be or not to be. There is no day and night, its perpetual day out there.It exists yet it does not exist. Everything about it is diffused and intended for extinction right from the beginning.

Mule not over the millions and millions of pages of digital knowledge. Turn to fabric of social web its spruing around, where meaning of real life words like committements,bondings, courtesy, gratitudes,regards,feelings,consideration etc. etc. are either lost or diluted beyond recognition. There are uncountable ghosts which suddenly turn real as if finding a body ,enact akin to real life drama making one to relate to it as substantially tangible and suddenly then before one realises the ghost disappears without notice. There is no demise and no funeral,only diffusion and vanishing of vanity.

There is no address and no dwelling where one would go to find a dear bonded one. All appearances are purely controlled by free will of conenience and subject ot sighting of the full moon so to say ! Your best buddy or lover may decamp like a straw in hey-stack or mostly may not be reachable like defunct network when you need them most dearly .The distances are vast and unscalable in practical terms. Large number of entities here are unseen and much lesser known or understood as against in real life as far as behaviour and mental aspect goes.

There is this world away from real world in which one yet again lives,laughs,cries,gives and takes assurances,but can afford to slight or take lightly anything and everything atleast for self, if not for one who has probably by now adopted it as real. To make things more complicated and simulation more realistic there are cross overs to real world like voice exchanges as well as meeting of real forms at times ! However do not overlook the statuatory warning alongside which only points to no personal responsibility,committement and swift easy exit conveniently thru your ethernet board !

Labels: The web.

Words hurt more then swords ! Many a times physical hurt dosn't cause as much damage as unsolicited feelings do, from both the ends. The complex sphere of human emotions,judgement, interpretations,expectations,mood and eventual reciprocation is so intricately woven and so less explored that anything not understood or made to have understood at both end leaves behind
yawning chasms which take infinitely longer time to address and clear out then the moments they were created in.

Hence its always prudent to keep clearing the baseline understanding in constant succession to avoid heartburns on either side later on. So what it takes - does it call for communication and over-communication, constant blabbering, frequent flying of notes, mails to and fro. A questioning mind, alertness, sensitization, evolving with other individual, plugging unhinted presumptions, expertise in communication , perception to gauge situation,contemplation,stepping across onto other side, softening of unyielding and inflexible
approach, an inclusive or non-inclusive stance, not to forget the words one chooses and timing. So much of netting and prework to a word uttered - apt adage of wise old man Confucious "Nine thoughts to one word !"

Quite an herculian task in itself, sustainability of effort being yet another mamoth challenge , requires capabilities of some super hyper computer but mind and heart combo does it all with such ease and grace in some highly evolved souls !
What could be the secret magic potion , wand or spell needed ?

Labels: Mind magic ..

Drive to achieve something is passion and sweet addiction. What would propel one if there is nothing to exert for.Goals and desires are essential to human existence. If one who desires runs the risk of ending in suffering , one who does not seek is already dead. Life demand momentum , something to look forward to , something to dream about, something to hold as dear and close, something to call as meaningful and worthwhile, something which can make one's mind , body and soul pulsate with fresh energy and sets them in motion.

Whatever sets one in motion is fuel for engine of that life, is basic need, the constant thought , the fitoor/junoon/addiction of that soul. Take that away and engine begin to stutter, give it all too soon and run the risk of over-heating the engine and eventual ceasure.If its too far-fetched and out-landish yet again the journey becomes painful austerity. The presence of fuel called fitoor/junoon/addiction is as important as its quantified handling almost akin to fine tuned engine to give optimum mileage. One needs a pinch of madness to achieve more then ordinary. The stretch part is handling of this addiction.

One who has learned the art of handling his addiction has mastered self and one's surroundings. If one fears every crest and trough that comes one's way how would one ever be able to traverse valleys and mountains of life ! For experiencing the beauty of a beach its important to be there at the shore and make first contact with the rising waves of the ocean, to feel the sand being swept away from under the feet, the raw force of the water, see afloat the various treasures sea brings to the shore. One is not expected to swim across the ocean but walk into it to the extent possible with fair judgement.

Man by instinct is explorer and wanderer addicted to discovering something new each time. When this fire dies down the sun begin to set on life.Then there is nothing left to experience afresh,no new horizon to discover,no frangrance to be felt, nothing new to taste,nothing is heard and no vitality left to set the world in motion.One might be alive, breathing but resting in coldness of grave. The connotation of Fitoor/Junoon/Addiction is warm like rushing of blood, is
self-absorbing,definitive,compelling,self-propelling and engaging beyond time and space.

Reminded of favorite couplet ;-

Kyuon barkhudaar,kya kaya numaya kar gaye
Saari umar yunhi bas khaya, piya aur mar gaye !!

(Hey old soul what did u do with your frame
whole life ate,drank and eventually dead !!!)

Labels: Sweet Addictions...

What do I live and die for
A little respect,some genuine appreciation
A truthful closeness,a rightful place in life
A little peace of mind and dignity to survive
A few pair of legs to walk along and arms to hold
Someone to hear and someone to empathise
Some breathing space and freedom to be alive
Respite from cynical snares and demeaning glares
Just a node of having contributed whatever little
Some moments to cherish and an anchor to hold
Only a little to barter and assurance foretold
Ask not much this frazile mould !

Labels: For an askance..

I train my eyes on colors of rainbows
And nose savour fragrance manifold
My tongue tastes various flavours
And ears rise to symphony untold
My heart glows with radiance divine
And mind fathoms deepest secrets
My arms stretch out to embrace world
And legs traverse the rounded globe
I begin with puny zygotic form
And dwarf the tallest n broadest scope !!

Labels: Marcrocosm in me ...

What seed does pain hides in
What nourishment it thrives on
For it cease to diminish at all
Surfacing un-noticed now n then
Traversing from past to present
And looming large on future
Like eternal Ganges it flows
Sweeping and disolving
all that comes under its flow
Where does it resides in
Heart, mind or one's soul
Like an embedded mole
Oh treacherous,torcherous
Shadow of divine soul
You are neither thee nor me
Your bondage I abhore
Just keep away from this mould !!

Labels: Hideous Pain.

Decency is maneur in which bonding grows. If one would care for a friend,relation or any human interaction , it wouldn't be fulfilling and appropriately amicable without being considerate towards other individual. Politeness and consideration not only eases out bondings but also tells a lot about one's own priorities and direction in life.

Having feelings in heart is just one aspect of positive or negative bonding. The ensuance of action with due diligence and timeliness is equally important to mirror those feelings in another fellow being. The human heart,mind and life as such is so dynamic and in constant flux that redressing impressions formed earlier takes more time to reshape. Often repair meets with skepticism or calculated assertion.

As Ghalib said -
"Har baat pe puchtey hain ki tu kya hai
Ab tum hi kaho yeh andaaze guf-t-gu kya hai "

Meaning in nutshell that a dis-regardful or dis-respectful mind or approach is a non-starter from onset.

One who is truely respectful to oneself, only knows how to treat well the other person.
Dignity is not so much learnt or acquired as it is earned thru arduous efforts to uphold dignity of other human being.

Labels: bad or ugly.., Bonding for good